Reply to I told my parents that we aren't coming over for Thanksgiving

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're teaching your kids how much to value their parents. Don't be surprised when they learn the lesson.[/quote]

If generally there's a good relationship with the grandparents, this isn't the lesson.  What the kids could take away if you spend every holiday with grandparents is that when they are adults there aren't any traditions at their childhood home so might as well spend the holidays elsewhere.  I think it's a balancing act to prioritize the broader family and also have the right to spend major holidays as a nuclear family under your own roof.

My DH's parents have both passed away and we make a decision year by year with regard to whether to travel hundreds of miles to spend Thanksgiving with my parents.  Some years we do, other years the logistics have been too hard with work or other things happening in our daily lives.  Sometimes, to be honest, we also just don't want to.  The travel is exhausting on a major holiday, so we gently let my family know that we are going to use the long weekend to hunker down and recharge.

Hopefully the message we are passing to our kids is that it's okay to make the right decisions for you and those decisions don't have to be the same every year.
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