Reply to Telling donor conceived kids about half siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We will not be bringing strsngers into our family either. Some of you people are obsessed. So funny the way the obsessed ones want to tell other people how to raise their kids snd conduct their lives. [/quote]

You can do as you please but in 20 years when your children no longer wish to speak to you you’ll only have yourself and your ego to blame. [/quote]

Wow, you’re the one with the ego. I am not the PP, but I feel the same way about bringing complete strangers into my life for no legitimate reason. Sharing DNA does not make someone family. Full stop!

While people are obsessed with genealogy, I couldn’t give a rats ass about who my great-great grandpappy was or what he did. I have a sibling, close in age, with whom I grew up, but we barely speak. We’re both professionals with the same religious and political views and the same completely normal, upper middle class childhood but we have nothing in common. We prefer to disengage.

And don’t get me started on the many, many cousins I have out there…

Just because other people picked the same donor as I did doesn’t make us a happy commune. It’s not like our kids will instantly bond and be all kumbaya with each other.

All we have in common is that we sought out donor sperm for many different reasons and then ended up settling on the same donor, also for a variety of very different reasons. That’s no link at all. I might as well form a club with people who bought the same onsies as I did.

(You do realize that we’re all pretty closely related to a lot of people out there, right?)

As for my child, while there’s been a definite interest in knowing more about the donor, DC couldn’t care less about the other kids whose parents used the same donor. DC said, “Well, they wouldn’t know anything about him either would they? Maybe I’d like to meet his real kids to learn more about him. But what good would meeting other donor kids do?”

Even my ten year old realizes that these people are not our family. I guess my kid takes after me. Why do you suppose that my DC will suddenly adopt your views and perspectives? I’d say that’s pretty egotistical, no?[/quote]

When I was 10, I felt the way your DC does. But when I had my own children, I felt they had a right to know any medical information that might be out there, so I did genetic testing and reached out to my DNA relatives. We have some info now if they ever need it. Please keep an open mind.
--an adoptee (new poster)[/quote]

To my knowledge donors do provide a medical history.  That being said, I fail to see why it’s that important to know about. I have type one diabetes. Not one of my direct ancestors has ever had it. None of my siblings or cousins have it. I’m literally the only one who has it. My DH had a grandma with ALS. We do not know of anyone else who ever had it in his family. He and all of his aunts, uncles and cousins have been tested for a known gene. There’s absolutely nothing that doctors are aware of at this time. All this knowledge does is worry us.

I get that it would be useful to know if you have some sort of preventable and or treatable disease that runs in the family, but some times stuff just happens. Otherwise, how does knowing this information help you? It wouldn’t have helped my treatment to know that my aunt had diabetes. I’m me and I need my doctors to treat me, not my relatives. I really don’t get the obsession with medical history.[/quote]

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