Reply to Telling donor conceived kids about half siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve talked about the donor since birth and now that the concept is becoming more concrete to my 3 year old, I’ve also introduced the donor siblings idea which seems to be a bit more difficult for them to understand. But it’s in the ongoing conversation and that’s my goal. I’m connected to all of the families we can find via a Facebook group. I think it’s important to open that connection for my child, so it’s available if they want it. I also like having access to shared medical information.

I do have a few boundaries I’ve placed for now, though, that I expect will evolve as my child gets older. I believe these choices ultimately belong to them. [b]The first is that we haven’t attended any in-person meetups yet. The second is that I don’t refer to them as brothers and sisters, just “have the same donor as you.”[/b] I am totally fine with both of these happening eventually. I just want it to be at an age where my child is able to choose them. I believe these choices are theirs, not mine. [/quote]

I think this is a nice compromise. Your child may or my not want a future relationship, and you are not creating the pressure of a familial relationship by calling them brothers/sisters.

My DH and his sister are adopted. His sister has found siblings/relatives/etc. through DNA registries. She has had a great experience and has enjoyed pursuing these relationships. My husband on the other hand has little interest in his biological family (I think because he is introverted and doesn't need a large "herd"). My in-laws have been supportive of both approaches. By waiting until your child is a bit older, you can support them in exploring these feelings so they can determine how to proceed.[/quote]

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