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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those of you who mandate, how do you force them to go? [/quote

At this age, I still control everything -- money, rides to places, access to a phone, etc.  I'm not physically picking anyone up and putting them in the car, but if I say it's a requirement, then they do it because the alternative is a very unhappy home life.  Some things are also phrased as a family rule.

OP should also be thinking about starting out high school better than middle school has gone.  Tell DS that he has to join a no-cut fall sport in the 9th grade (this will start in August), whatever that may be.  Being around peers who are also doing things is positive peer pressure.  Another PP mentioned that by 13 most kids aren't going to join something because they aren't good at it, which is true, but there are some rec league teams filled with kids just starting out in the sport.

As a long term strategy, you're almost past the time to get them used to you being in control even if physically it's not the truth anymore.  The last thing you want is to try establishing hierarchy and boundaries when they're 6 feet tall with a driver's license.[/quote]

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