Reply to Want to ask my brother how he protects my nieces from creepy stepdad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you tell your mother that you were sexually abused by her husband? Did she believe you? Something doesn’t make sense here. If she believed you there is no way she would stay married to a man who abused her daughter. [/quote]

Poster you are very, very naive.

I am a survivor of child abuse and have spent years as a victim advocate and later as a prosecutor.

It is far more common for mothers to be complicit in the abuse of their children than to be proactive in reporting that abuse or removing their children from access by the offender.

My own sister, knowing full well her husband had just molested her early teens daughter from another relationship, actually asked her daughter ‘do you want me to blow up our whole family over this?’ with the obvious expectation that her daughter would be too afraid to say, ‘yes.’ She and her molesting husband (it was only once! they excused him by) then proceeded to make my increasingly troubled niece the scapegoat for all the family’s future problems.

I get that it’s mindblowing at some level. But not as much for me, because my mother sat silent and said and did nothing while my father beat me and bullied me right in front of her for decades. Because she did nothing about the things that were right in front of her, why would I bother even telling her about things daddy did to me when we were alone in my room at night during bedtime stories?

You are blissfully ignorant, and I envy you that, but I suggest you might have more compassion for the experiences of others if you educated yourself about what are all too common dynamics in abusive families.[/quote]

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