Reply to Want to ask my brother how he protects my nieces from creepy stepdad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would assume they keep close watch on their children when they visit, OP.

Perhaps you want some sort of retribution in the form of family estrangement from your stepfather, but you have to understand that this rarely happens in families. The victims step away for their own sanity, but the others often stay close. It's not that they don't believe you, but since the abuse was not perpetrated on their person and they did not witness it, they can never fully experience the trauma and revulsion, and they can tell themselves "oh, he's changed", "oh he must regret it",  "oh, it was minor", or whatever. Sometimes they stay for the spouse of the perpetrator, and because they don't feel ready for extended family's scrutiny if they leave.

I'm sorry. Perhaps you feel betrayed all over again. I hope you're connected to a good therapist.[/quote]

Retaliation and retribution? She’s trying to prevent kids from being molested. This is why survivors like me only talk nitty gritty to fellow survivors. Outside people truly dont get it. OP, in addition to a therapist, perhaps you will find an online community or survivors community you can talk to about this. I’m not in the DMV otherwise I would recommend one.

And, PP, survivors are actually acutely aware that their extended family will likely drop the ball on supporting them/showing allyship. It’s yet another reason we don’t speak up. [/quote]

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