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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you should define what you feel the right amount of drive is.

Drive can be crazy ambition or enough drive to live your life in taking care of your daily needs (enough food, shelter, basic, etc).  Some people want the world and others are fine with less.

One thing I'm pretty sure of is that you can't actually manufacture ambition - it's innate.  I have a girl who does not want Bs or Cs in school.  She absolutely gets that it's OK for Bs and Cs but she wants As.  My other kid feels that as long as he tries and gets a B or a C, it's not the end of the world.  Albeit he has severe learning disabilities and is an uber hard worker but alas, I would suggest she has more drive than him.  Same girl - she did not care to continue on a travel sport team because she was sick of losing.  Not that she really wants to go pro or college scholarship - her interest in playing is purely recreational in that she just enjoys having fun but losing all the time was not something she wanted to experience.  I call this Type A Drive LOL  She is someone with a high bar to reach.  She may or may not be happier than my other kid but she may very likely be more "successful" than him.  Does this sense?

You can't teach drive/ambition/etc.  Some of it is indeed background (immigrants or someone with some sort of hurt will often have stronger drive than a well adjusted perfect happy childhood kid) but it's mostly innate is my experience.  You don't need to be poor to have drive.  You can poor and have no drive.

You have only so much power over your kid.  If it's not a mental health or learning issue, you need to let him work out what he wants.  People also change a lot from 12 years old so there's that to consider :) Ultimately, there really isn't anything you can do to "help."  Just watch him and learn what he's like.  In life there is also such a thing is luck and how much people like you :)  Just because you have drive does not actually guarantee you anything.

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