Reply to Psychologist recommends bathroom time out as punishment. Thoughts?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have you ever watched What Not to Wear? They give the person some rules and send them off.  The rules give them a framework and a new way forward.

Your psychologist has given you 3 new rules, a new way forward.  You can implement the rules in various ways but they should be in line with the rules.

"[b]Give child 3 rules: 1) obedience, 2) respect, 3) no arguing. Parents have three rules when responding to child's breaking of these rules (child not told this but parents know): 1) be consistent, 2) no second chances, and 3) no warning before consequences.[/b]"

Those are reasonable rules.  They're about consistency, predictability, and reliability. For everyone.  Stability and predictability is great for kids.  They will test rules and boundaries, that's what they do, but they are a lot happier and more confident when they know where the rules and boundaries are.  [/quote]

This is the definition of authoritarian parenting, which studies have shown lead to poor outcomes.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/authoritarian-parenting

Children reared by authoritarian families tend to depend more heavily on their parents (especially girls), be more submissive, less socially adept, less confident, less intellectually curious, and less committed to achievement in comparison with children reared in authoritative homes. Furthermore, children reared by authoritarian parents often exhibit hostility and shyness toward peers and show higher levels of aggression (Casas et al., 2006).

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568743/

"Furthermore, this parenting style can result in children who have higher levels of aggression but may also be shy, socially inept, and unable to make their own decisions.[1] This aggression can remain uncontrolled as they have difficulty managing anger as they were not provided with proper guidance. They have poor self-esteem, which further reinforces their inability to make decisions.[2] Strict parental rules and punishments often influence the child to rebel against authority figures as they grow older."[/quote]

No, it's authoritative.  As opposed to OP's current permissive parenting that is not working.  [/quote]

Wrong. in the bolded above the rules are obedience and no arguing. That is the definition of authoritarian.[/quote]

Also wanted to add there is no evidence the OP is a permissive parent.

If her child is having difficulties it may very well be ADHD or something else, and have nothing to do with her parenting style.

Not everything is Mom's fault.[/quote]

Kids with ADHD need clear rules conveyed consistently.  Not confusing, permissive or gentle parenting.

ADHD isn't Mom's fault but she can parent it better or parent it worse.[/quote]

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