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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those with shy or introverted kids still in high school, start working with them now.  Things don’t magically change in college .  Encourage summer jobs, volunteer experiences, and clubs that will get them out of their comfort zone when  they are still in high school.  
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Anecdotally, some of the kids who were happiest in high school have the hardest adjustment because they miss their close friend group. It’s the starting over that is hard.
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Agree with this. My introvert son has had a surprisingly easy transition to college. [b]We moved between his 8th grade and freshman year in HS, and I remember making friends was slow and took time. As I was reading this thread, I was thinking that experience must have helped a *lot.* 
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It’s hard, but one piece of advice I’d have is for the parent to be supportive and make suggestions if they bring it up, but back off otherwise. I know when our DC was in HS, our well-meaning questions about whether he had made any friends just put more pressure on him and made him feel worse. We stopped asking and let him do his thing, and he made friends on his own schedule. When he would mention a friend, we would just react normally, but then my DH and I would sneak away to high five each other. He eventually found his people and ended up with a great group of friends by graduation. [/quote]

That probably did help a lot. DD is a freshman and the first couple weeks were really hard. She's had the same two BFFs since 2nd grade. She grew and shifted friend groups in MS and again in HS but through it all the core was these two BFFs. They all chose intentionally to NOT go to college together. In encouraging DD to work through the discomfort I had to reflect all the way back to 1st grade when she didn't feel like she had any friends in school but, after I talked with her teacher, was moved to sit with a couple girls who became friendly enough for the year. The next year she met her BFFs. I told her what you need in those first few months of colleges are "friendly enough" for now. I think kids can put too much pressure on themselves to make their "best friends for life!" at the start of college and that's not reality for most kids. She's a month in and seems to have a friendly-enough mix of kids that came together pretty quickly after a couple sad/disconnected weeks.[/quote]

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