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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those with shy or introverted kids still in high school, start working with them now.  Things don’t magically change in college .  Encourage summer jobs, volunteer experiences, and clubs that will get them out of their comfort zone when  they are still in high school.  
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Anecdotally, some of the kids who were happiest in high school have the hardest adjustment because they miss their close friend group. It’s the starting over that is hard.
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Well perhaps.  But multiple posters in this thread refer to their student being shy or having similar issues in high school.[/quote]

One of my kids crashed and burned in college, partly because he was extremely lonely and was unable to make any connections during his first year. In his case, COVID played a huge role, but that doesn't mean that the PP's advice about encouraging high school kids to venture out of their comfort zone to form connections isn't worthwhile. It's never too early to start. While I hope that the isolation kids experienced during COVID will not happen again, I learned that you never know what the future holds. I deeply regret not pushing my son early in high school, which left him in a particularly vulnerable state when the pandemic came along.

I also think that it's a fantastic idea for RAs to promote connections between their residents. Based on my experience with multiple kids, I don't think this is common. One of my kids wound up joining a fraternity for the reasons others have mentioned - it was hard to make connections only through class and clubs. I think that athletes have a natural advantage when it comes to finding a friend group; it's much more difficult for other activities that aren't as structured.

Everyone always says, "join clubs," but I hear of so many kids who don't find their people through clubs at college. It it really that easy?

I agree with the PP who said that if things haven't improved by next semester, you need to monitor the situation carefully and perhaps encourage your kid to seek out other support. Academic success and social connectedness go hand in hand.
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