Reply to Friend who ignored DD for several years showed up again, how would you guide your kid?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Knowing that every kid is different, how would you guide your kid in this situation? I had heard that shifting friend circles is a normal part of being a tween/teen but now that it's happening, I feel unprepared. [/quote]
Is your kid actually asking for guidance, or is she just sharing?

If she's asking for guidance, +1 to telling your DD talking about boundaries.  Also, you could talk to your DD about how to introduce Sally to other kids at school.  It's an art that this generation isn't so good at.  [/quote]

I definitely think we need some boundaries with Sally. As I mentioned before this weekend she wanted to be here the whole time, including when DD had a new friend over for a playdate.
They go to different middle schools.[/quote]

It's not really what' you think.
It's what your daughter thinks.
She's in middle school now, they aren't playdates anymore.
And multiple kids hang out.
If DD was comfortable with her being there it shouldn't be an issue for you. And no you not wanting her to stay because you're upset about 4 th grade is not a valid reason.
You have to separate yourself from your daughter.
While I believe your heart is in the right place.msking her hurts your hurts isn't the way to go.
Her friends are not your friends.
Is she even bothered by the elementary school stuff? Or is that you?
You can advise in a general way but make sure she wants your advice and isn't just relaying.
Anecdotally, in MS I rekindled a friendship with a lost elementary school friend and it was wonderful those 3 years. We went to separate high schools and didn't see each other much  but it was great while but lasted.
I also have people I've been friends with from birth that I'm still friends with today.
There's all types of friends that is important for your daughter to learn.
And yes you do want to talk about what makes a good friend but she's in MS you shouldn't choose her friends for her even if it means she gets hurt . [/quote]

I think you make some good points about not letting my own feelings get in the way.
It is hard when you pick up the pieces from these situations - I am sure other parents can relate to that. When Sally became busy with her new friends and didn't want to hang out with DD, DD talked to me about it. She was sad that she "lost" her best friend from childhood who was now only interested in hanging around her new friends.

I think it is good advise for DD to widen her circle. Include Sally but don't make her the Center of the circle. This is good advise regardless of this particular situation with Sally. 
[/quote]

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