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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid was pretty afraid of dogs when he was little - probably until 4th grade or so when he was finally taller than most of them.

I didn't do anything over special about it, other than pick him up if I could when we passed a dog on the sidewalk, or make sure he was opposite me from the dog (and I made sure to tell the dog walker that my son was afraid and did not want to say hi).

I also didn't prevent interactions with dogs that I personally know are friendly and that I have experience with. For example, when we'd visit a family member who has a big friendly excitable dog, I would make sure that the initial few minutes took place in the backyard so the dog had space to run off energy, my son wasn't in a confined space with it, and then once we went inside I didn't do anything special to prevent their interactions but I would help redirect the dog if my son got upset (this dog is wonderful, I've known her since she was a puppy, and she listens to me so I was very comfortable with how she would behave towards my son).

My son is now 14 and we have our own big dog, who he sleeps with at night.

With your child, when passing a dog on the sidewalk, you could try to stand in a driveway a short distance away while the dog passes. Try to stay calm. If you are not afraid of the dog, you need to demonstrate that there is nothing to fear. Your child can probably sense you tensing up, and that's going to make things worse. Come up with a strategy for avoiding them, talk to your child about it in advance, and then practice it while you're out and about.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for this. Sounds like a very similar situation.

We have actually done most of the things you describe. A few months ago when the fear seemed to ramp up, I became worried about DC running into traffic to avoid a dog and that led to a series of conversations about what we can do to address the fear without doing something much more dangerous. So yes, now we always pass dogs with me (or my spouse) between DC and the dog, or we see the dog coming from down the street and find somewhere to stand out of the way so the dog can pass first. I'm trying to get better about articulating to dog owners in advance that DC is uncomfortable with dogs so they give space. Most we pass are very nice about it but sometimes if DC panics it can be hard to address that while also communicating with the dog owner.

So I think we have avoidance pretty much down, I'm just wondering if it will reduce with time if we just keep doing what we are doing. I'm not opposed to therapy but still not really understanding what that even entails. Would the therapist just talk about dogs? Would they look at pictures of dogs? Would they try to unpack where the fear comes from (I think that's pretty straightforward)? I'm guessing that is not something that would be covered by our insurance so I'm reluctant to sign on unless I had a sense of how it would work.[/quote]

Great! Therapy might be a really good option. I don't know exactly what it would look like, but I'd imagine it would include desensitization to talking about them, images, videos, working up to desensitizing to dogs presence and maybe touching them (this would be done very carefully). Your best bet would be to call a few therapists and ask how they would work on it, and schedule an appointment or two to see if they're a good fit. [/quote]

To be clear, have you done this?

I know several children's therapists and I think they'd all be a bit stressed about the potential liability of working with dogs and kids together, even "very carefully." I"m also guessing this would be expensive even by therapy standards.

The issue is being near dogs, not looking at pictures or videos of them. It's a rational fear, not a phobia.[/quote]

A therapist isn't going to be overseeing the child interacting with dogs. They can help the child deal with feelings of stress when viewing images or videos, and they can talk to a child about how to react to an interaction with a dog - even if the child doesn't touch the dog in question. If you cannot pass a dog on a sidewalk without feeling intense panic, that's a huge problem in life - I walk my dog all the time in my neighborhood and while I do not let my dog approach everyone (or anyone who doesn't want him to), I can't avoid every person completely especially if we're on a pathway that doesn't have alot of space.

A therapist could also just work directly with the OP on strategies for helping her child overcome this fear. And, sure, fear of dogs can be rational, but even when a rational fear is interfering with living your life or with family life, it's worth finding a way to address. [/quote]

OP here and my child has no feelings at all about viewing photos or videos of a dog. She'll even say "aw that dog is cute" or whatever. It's only when we encounter them in person. We already talk to her about how to handle it when it happens, I don't think a therapist could facilitate that any further. It makes sense for us to have those conversations because we can also help reassure her what we will do to help her feel comfortable (i.e. placing ourselves between her and the dog) whereas a therapist can't really make those assurances.

One thing I will say is that dog owners can help by keeping dogs on a short leash and, if you have a dog prone to barking, jumping, or aggressive behavior, [b]don't walk them during the standard school commute hours. [/b]Other than that, I don't really expect anything extra of dog owners -- most we encounter are understanding of DC's wariness and seem to handle it just fine.[/quote]

Sorry but, you don't get to tell people when they can or cannot walk their dogs.  Your need to control things will not make her fear go away.  [/quote]

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