Reply to I don’t understand how people claim the affair partner is blameless?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't condone sleeping with married people, or other affair behavior.  I certainly don't engage in that behavior myself.  And I can understand feeling anger and hatred towards someone who slept with my spouse.

But there are many people out there who talk about a married man having an affair as if they are blameless, and the OW is the problem.  They'll use words like "homewrecker" that imply this.  Or they'll imply that she's the one deserving of consequences.  I've heard of people whose husband had an affair at work, who have sought to have the OW fired (but not the husband).  Or they'll work on forgiveness towards him, and not towards her.  They'll be polite to him in front of the children (for their sake) but then awful to her (which is also hard for the children).

In my mind, if my husband had an affair, then both people would be doing something wrong, but only one of them would be doing it to me, and that's the person who made vows to me and broke them.  Being more angry at or less forgiving towards the OW, implying it's more her fault than his, or that her behavior is more personal to me than his doesn't make sense to me.  [/quote]

This is a really good take. [/quote]

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