Reply to "Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why?

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Reply to ""Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, take 30 seconds to think this through.

I highly doubt you’ve ever seen a thread that—out of nowhere—instructs everyone not to deal with their ILs. If there is a thread doing that, please link to it. That’s something I’d like to see.

Nope, that’s not what happens. What happens is a poster writes about a specific problem or dynamic that she or he is having with her specific ILs. Posters then, circumstantially, advise the poster to let the spouse deal with his or her parents.

Key word: circumstantial.

Do you get it?[/quote]

Q (in its entirety):  "How do you set boundaries with your inlaws, particularly if you and spouse are the oldest/first to get married/have kids..."
A: "Have your spouse run point on communications and logistics with them."

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1155665.page

[/quote]

That OP was literally asking about boundaries to set.  This is one that works well for a lot of people, either as far as division of workload or management of personalities, as demonstrated on this thread.  You can start out as a newlywed thinking you're going to be BFFs with your ILs, but if that goes sideways, this is a solution that has worked for many.[/quote]

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