Reply to "Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why?

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Reply to ""Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because nearly all of these posts are about men who would like to offload the emotional labor of their marriage to their wives. Their wives should not have to take it all on.

It would be very rare on here to see a post from a man saying he has been given too many responsibilities to his wife’s parents.[/quote]

OP here.  I get this.  But if this is the reason, why does it not come up when people ask how to handle a teacher or a coach or their own child?  It is all labor/responsibility.

What you point out seems to be a bigger issue, and not really about how this third party that requires dealing with came into someone's life.  Only when it comes to inlaws does his seem relevant to folks.[/quote]

You will see advice like this on other threads where people are talking about division of labor stuff. For example, I advise my mom friends to consider listing their husband’s phone number first on every school, etc form. Because if the mom’s role is to fill out all the paperwork (which it often is), then dad can get the first phone call. The division of labor might not work if dad is in a SCIF or mom stays home and it makes more sense for her to take the calls. But, sometimes women in particular fall into the trap of doing “all the things”.

I have never been the main coordinator of stuff with my husband’s family. He is very good at it. He makes the plans, coordinates the food, buys the gifts. I’m terrible at gift buying so he sometimes buys gifts for my family too. And sometimes, I do stuff like take his mom on a girls trip. So while I absolutely give advice to “let your husband handle the most stuff with his family”, im not refusing to interact with them.

Nuance seems really lost on you.[/quote]

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