Reply to LDR situationship with a guy friend in mid-life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been used as a "pen pal" via text from a few men. It's because they are bored/lonely/too lazy for a real relationship/too busy in real life and you provide an outlet and a fantasy and occasional sex. Enough that it boosts their ego like they "still got it", keeps them excited sexually and romantically, and requires no actual commitments. He is comfortable with you so can be more intimate emotionally, which is less risk than dating someone new. He knows you like him as a human since you were friends first, which is not guaranteed when dating either. If you were friends first, you share interests and you're probably smart/interesting/witty which is important too.

I guarantee if you start wanting more than texting it will fall apart - that's what happened to me.

Signed,
Ex-pen pal with 3 middle age men who on paper seem impressive[/quote]

I think this is what is going on. [/quote]

We have known each other for a long time, it’s not just texting. When I first posted, I was just surprised by the amount of texting. I dialed it down over time to try to manage my emotions but even so, 9+ months later I feel like the uncertainty is getting to me. The friendship and intimacy were never missing.[/quote]

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