Reply to LDR situationship with a guy friend in mid-life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP of this thread here. We broke up two nights ago and I put on a brave face but I’m feeling crushed. It was just too much emotion for the distance, I wanted to talk about the future and he felt it was impossible (he can’t move his kids and I can’t realistically move mine either away from their dad).

I don’t know if it’s truly the end, part of me hopes it is and the other part is just confused and hurt and missing him. This relationship was miles ahead of anything I’ve ever experienced before. It felt like “this is it.” I’m definitely glad it happened and I wish him well. We agreed we both wanted to remain good, actual friends.

I guess the advice is just, keep busy, right?[/quote]

It's the end. If it's not, it should be. Don't plan to be "good, actual friends" for very long. Once he finds someone else (and he will) I am sure his new love will not appreciate your continued involvement with him. I don't care what anyone says, if you've been lovers with someone you can never really be "just friends" again in the eyes of anyone else you get involved with.

Finally, realize that if you were to get seriously involved with him you would soon occupy the role of "wicked stepmother" as far as his kids are concerned.  No matter the circumstances, children (and their mothers and everyone else) does NOT approve of any woman who gets involved with someone else's kids. It's a no-win. Stepmothers are hated. Period. [/quote]

Not OP. You have a warped view of the world. I am still friends with ex-lovers. Good people remain friends with good people no matter our life trajectories. Like one poster said, maybe it will work out in the future.

As for northern BC, where is he based? Just curious because I worked up there. [/quote]

Thanks, PP. I agree.

He’s north of PG but since the communities are pretty small up there, I prefer not to name it. I hope you enjoyed your time there.[/quote]

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