Reply to LDR situationship with a guy friend in mid-life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The reason the sex is so good is because neither of you care.[/quote]

Honestly this. It's easy.  He gets the emotional support and sex of having a girlfriend without having to do the work of a boyfriend.
Same with op as far as sex goes. 
It's not a real relationship. 
It's fantasy it's fun stuff.
My advice is not to cut yourself off from a relationship nearby ( if you might want one) by being caught up in this guy.

Do not get pregnant. I repeat do not get pregnant.[/quote]

The ratio of text to sex is so high that it doesn’t seem like it would be worth it if it were just about the sex. [b]Surely he can find women locally to just sleep with.[/b] [/quote]
He can, and would if he could. I don’t know what the sex ratio is in a remote place like the Canadian tundra but there can’t be many available women. He might be really bored, the sun is setting at like 3pm up there.[/quote]

^ This, but also there is a serious "falling in love with yourself" thing that happens when you're texting a lot, or emailing a lot, with someone you aren't actually involved with. He's texting a lot because he likes who he perceives himself to be in these texts. Gd, I remember this dynamic so hard from back in ye olden times when I used to do some online dating. You'd message back and forth with someone and be totally convinced they were incredible, they were maybe even The One! - and then you'd get together and they were just a person. It's just extremely gratifying to message back and forth with someone who finds you witty and interesting and sexy - it just is. Here, it probably helps that you guys actually have hot s*x, too =- but I have to agree with the PP that the s*x is so good, at least in part, because it's new and neither of you is going to have to do the dishes or argue over which couch to buy afterwards.

Even if this could go somewhere great - it can't. For really important reasons. Unless you are willing to be in a very very long distance relationship for a VERY very long time, this has to stay somewhat casual. PP is right that after your kids are older, if you and he want to give this a real shot, you can. But now, it's just not possible. So do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your feelings, if you think you could end up getting really hung up on this guy.

I'm glad you're getting to enjoy this, though. Hot s** with someone who I don't have to talk about couches or dishes with is one of the only things I miss back from my dating days.[/quote]

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