Reply to How can I explain to good friends who don’t understand SNs why a weekend trip is not possible for my kids

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Reply to "How can I explain to good friends who don’t understand SNs why a weekend trip is not possible for my kids "

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read the other replies, but my SN kid is now 20.  I have to say, if I could do it over again, I would just forget all that "keep it private" stuff because it's exactly that mindest makes your life so much more unnecessarily miserable....and lonely and feeling misunderstood.

I wrote a whole thing but deleted it.  This is the bottom line: my friends "got it" when I finally told them about the SN diagnosis.  My life became so much easier when I could just be open about it.  They also became much more tolerant of my SN kid.

BEFORE that, I could tell some friends just thought they were great parents and that's why their kid was so easy, and I must be lacking (maybe parenting too lieniently) because my kid was difficult.  And you know what, I totally understand that because if I only had my NT kid, I too would think, wow, I'm such a great parent, I have this amazing high-performing kid.  But having both kids, I know that my parenting style has little to do with it--to the extent that it's really humbling.  Yes, I'm there for both my kids and very involved, but there are some genetics there that cannot be denied.

And OP, the crazy thing is, there are so many SN kids out there and it's much more open these days. And it doesn't have to peg them for life, if that's what you are worried about.  You can just say that she might grow out of it, as many kids do.  And the flip side is, without an explanation, the kid gets pegged as difficult or entitled, so you might as well give them a more helpful reason to explain their behavior.

Good luck, OP!  it gets harder in the teen years....but then it gets easier!  DCUM (and therapy) helped me through it![/quote]

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