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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Marrying someone who does not have a stable or well paying career is risky. My husband's ex, who initiated their divorce in what I think was a very self destructive move, is a financial disaster. It sucks for everyone involved - my husband who has to raise financially support his children with next to no help from his ex, her because she is broke (having run through all the money from the divorce settlement), and her kids who will have to support her. Her career was unstable when they married around age 27, she couldn't support herself before they married so they lived together, she never got her career off the ground, she became a SAHM, and now she is broke.

If I had sons, I would recommend they marry a woman with a stable, reasonably well paying career who can support herself and who wants to keep her career going.[/quote]
+1 agree.  When I met DH, I was making about 2/3 of his income, but had more saved than he did.

I also tell my DS (and DD) that they should marry someone who has a good paying job.

However, how much are we talking about here?  OP says she makes 1/10th of the salary he does. Does he make a million, and she makes $100K? If so, then I don't see a problem with that. I'm assuming she can financially take care of herself now.  If you are making $400K, and she makes $40K, then that might be an issue. How are her financials? Is she in debt? Does she live beyond her means? These are things you need to talk about now before you get married.

If she is financially unstable, then imo, that's a big red flag, and her desire to be a sahm out of the gate means she's looking at you like a meal ticket.  No woman who seeks to be independent is wanting to be a sahm at the get go.  Nothing wrong with being a sahm; I did it for 2 years, but like I said, I made good money and saved so that I could be a sahm.

Marriage is not just about romance. It's real, and you need to have real discussions.[/quote]

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