Reply to I secretly hate my spouse’s eye color (brown)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just wish they were blue, is all. I would never disclose this is real life. Is this THAT bad of a thought?[/quote]

I get it. You're just venting anonymously. Expect a ton of hate and snark here, though. I get what you're saying, but maybe reframe away from "I hate spouse's eye color" to "I like blue eyes." See the difference? It's not about wishing your spouse were different, it's about acknowledging there's something else you find attractive and owning that in your head. Then: Consider that your spouse's brown eyes are the ones you get to look into when you need support, affection, when you have a kid, when there's a milestone.

It's OK to have things you find attractive, period, which your spouse simply doesn't possess. It becomes a problem only if you think of it as "I [i]hate[/i] this [i]about spouse[/i]" instead of "Isn't X objectively attractive on people!" Just balance things in your head with what your spouse does bring to the table. There's an actor I follow who has eyes which are not the same color as DH's; I just enjoy those stunning eyes on actor guy, but it doesn't make me wish DH's were the same. (I'm sure DH could say the same about me, as I know he likes blonde hair and I'm brunette! But he tells me he loves my hair and I know it's because its [i]my[/i] hair, not because he objectively prefers brunettes.) 
.[/quote]

This is an absolutely lovely post.[/quote]

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