Reply to ADHD - what are the odds she won't need meds?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old is your child?
We were able to manage without medication until middle school.
I guess the answer is, you can manage without medication until you can't anymore.  You will know when the time comes.[/quote]

This was our experience too. Was able to manage without medication for a long time, but when middle school came, the work demands increased, the willingness of teachers to tolerate his talking/fidgeting/wandering/etc decreased and he was getting in trouble every day/getting C/D's on assignments, missing assignments, etc - he was frustrated with himself and his self esteem plummeted. DH finally agreed it was time to try meds. He started meds and we stopped getting daily notes home re: his behavior, his grades increased to A/B, and his self esteem improved dramatically. This was 7y ago and he is now a senior taking AP/IB/DE classes with all A/B's, multiple sports, and a job. When his meds wear off at night I was see what he would be like unmedicated and I am 100000% he wouldn't have been able to manage as well as he does now.

You'll know.[/quote]

Thank you! This is reassuring. I'm seeing the self-esteem stuff starting to creep in even now. She gets so frustrated when she forgets things or doesn't follow through and says things that break my heart. It's also so so hard for us to find the balance between total helicopter and completely dropping the rope on some things. I think my husband and I need some help with that. [/quote]

I think it's time for you to consider meds then, the self esteem part is a compelling reason. [/quote]

We held off on meds until 8/9 grace. In retrospect, it was a huge mistake, and we should have started medicating in 3rd.  Not medicating earlier damaged my DC’s self-esteem, and although he is happier now, I think that shadow of early self-doubt and feeling like he is stupid will really shadow him forever.  Not medicating also made it much much harder to make friendships, acquire social skills and it definitely negatively impacted his academics which created additional ripple effects in each higher grade.

I truly regret not allowing him to try medication much earlier. [/quote]

It is way, way more common to feel like this (pp you are not alone!) than to regret trying medication, which I've rarely heard from anyone on this board or in real life/professional life. Trying is low risk, you can stop very easily at any point. Like another poster said, all I can report is the real impacts I've seen for my own child. There is confirmation bias for sure, of course i want to feel like I made the right decision. But given how few side effects we have, and the impact on improving interaction with peers and happiness I feel pretty strongly that for our family starting earlier will be a positive thing for his sense of self worth and that is really high on my list of important things.

Will he still struggle in middle and high school some? (in response to the NIH poster) I would honestly be surprised if he didn't. We'll be managing this for awhile. That doesn't mean it isn't benefiting him now.[/quote]

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