Reply to Desperate plea for help with my 4 year old DD

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Reply to "Desperate plea for help with my 4 year old DD"

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[quote=Anonymous]Hello spanking candidate! Just kidding - sort of?

Have you tried videotaping her behavior and then talking it over with her?

Weekend Daddy & me or Mommy and me outings without the baby. Without seeing it for myself it sure sounds like attention-grabbing behavior. Quiet time to tell her any things she has been doing that make you proud, like working on her writing or dressing herself or brushing her teeth without being asked. And to remind her to always be good to her sister, because they will need to look out for each other when you are old.

We have used M&Ms and stickers as a reward for using the potty and after the doctor or dentist, she should be past that at age 4 but it might help to offer her a reward for using the potty or putting on her shoes before you need to get out the door. You need to remind her every time that this is something everybody needs to do and she is going to go through a lifetime of having her hair brushed, putting on sunscreen etc. and she might as well get used to it. My own mom was out of the picture by the time I was 6 - so I told my daughter, I didn't have a mommy to help me get dressed, you are so lucky to have a loving mommy who cares about you, to take care of you.  Sometimes mommies and daddies have to do things to take care of their babies that they don't like, but that's the breaks. She really does seem to calm down when I tell her that story. You can say "I know a lady who didn't have a mommy to help her."

My DH started removing the children from the table/kitchen/living room when they weren't behaving - brief timeouts in another room with the door closed. Staying in the room just seemed to make it worse. He has started telling our girls that meltdowns wil not be tolerated. They usually cry and wail at first and then calm down and apologize. Now when he stands up to carry them out of the room they usually pipe down.

I wonder if a) your DH has your back when you are trying to work with her and b) if she tires you out too easily. She sounds like a great candidate for Survivor, outwit, outplay, outlast. Except of course that eventually she will get stuck with a label that she will try and live up to, like "the one that drives everybody crazy." [/quote]

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