Reply to Spouse who never takes my side

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if everyone is an a-hole, it turns out that YOU are actually the a-hole. Maybe your spouse is seeing a pattern where you are constantly butthurt about things happening at work and she’s trying to help you grow up. [/quote]

That's how you take it? It's more like if you had ever gone to a conference talk and heard a question given to the presenters. Sometimes it's understood and answered easily, but normally it takes some back and forth. That will cause the audience to think they may be sparring, until after when they apologize and clear the air. It's misunderstandings. I have these all the time at work because people don't understand my work but want to ask questions. There's only so much I can dumb it down. If it's not their area of expertise they're going to stumble. Misunderstandings. [/quote]

OP is this and 19:50 you?

If so, I think you should sit down with your wife and ask for SPECIFIC feedback of what you can do better in conversations so that they stay as conversations-not verbal sparring. Take it in- and don't disagree... just make sure the feedback is as basic and specific as possible. It sounds like there is some ambiguity in what you do for work (and various personalities/specialties/educational levels perhaps) which is working against you here- so if she has SPECIFIC feedback of things you could do or NOT do- this might really be effective for you.

She may have lost her filter/ability to be patient and kind because the repetitive nature of the issue is making her crazy and you haven't listened/heard her in the past?

I'm the one who suggested counselling as it is a very bad sign that she has contempt toward you. So I don't lightly defend her behaviour. Ie, if everyone you deal with is an idiot, they aren't the idiots.[/quote]

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