Reply to Spouse who never takes my side

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry. I had a horrible labor day weekend fighting over this very thing. My DH and I went up to our weekend house and we passed a woman out walking her dog as we approached our house -- a woman who has been aggressively awful to me (and to other women in our friend group before me). Unfortunately, she is the wife of one of DH's best friends. We were in separate cars (transporting new furniture so needed two cars), him in front of me, and he stopped his car, rolled down the window and greeted her. We fought horribly. I felt he wasn't on my side and didn't have my back.

I don't know what to tell you, but it feels awful. [/quote]

Holy sh!t I have your back on this. I'd be livid. I'd have driven around him and continued on. If he really put himself in your position with her actions toward you, he would follow suit.

We had a really aggressive neighbour situation and my husband CANNOT be the 'bad guy' (ie, make a firm boundary with people/he makes excuses/gives them a million chances) so he would let them pull him in to their drama. I literally had to say to him "Do you want a happy relationship with this **** or with your wife?' and he got it. He got better at reading people/seeing the writing on the wall when you can't make people happy-so that was the benefit.

Same situation with OP and his wife. Some people only cause drama/drag you down. He needs to gain insight on which side he falls under.[/quote]

PP here. Thanks. I didn't drive around him but when he drove on I glared at her, shook my head and kept driving. Very middle school, but it helped me feel a bit more in control as I raged inside. You are getting right at the heart of it with this whole "cannot be the bad guy" thing. I spent a lot of time after explaining how that meant he'd actually been the bad guy to me, his wife, but I'm still not sure he gets it. He really can't stand this woman either, but he can't handle not being "nice." Which is funny, because we are both litigators and can be aggressive as hell with work. Ugh. It's so frustrating. Long weekend ruined. [/quote]

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