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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This isn’t necessarily an autism trait. It’s common in narcissists, emotionally stunted adults, and selfish/self centered people. She sees her grandkid as HERS and she has a fantasy of what that will be like. She doesn’t want you or DH getting in the way of what she wants.

Also some boomers have this notion that they deserve everything they want from their adult kids. Saying no to them is an insult because they’ve earned the right to get whatever they want. Your MIL is reacting to you and your husband saying no because she doesn’t really respect or care that you are the parents.

I agree with others that you should just not vacation with her or if you just be brutally direct. No means no. Be clear that you all are there for the cousins not her. [/quote]

This is my mil and fil to a T.  Mil is all about what she wants and fil enables it. Spouse and I were 40 when we had kids but they treated us like we were 12 year olds. If we ever laid down a rule or preference, they went out of their way to flaunt it. They were also not very big on loving. They were all about discipline and correction even with infants.  When we told them we would not be spanking, they went ballistic. They have never been alone with our kids. [/quote]

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