Reply to At the pool, do you discipline other people's kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At our pool "community parenting" is well-known and, in fact, expected. If adults are seen ignoring misbehaving kids who are near them then they get the stink-eye. Kind of like, "Why aren't you holding up your end of the deal and letting them get away with that?" The kids are pretty feral at our pool and it wouldn't be do-able unless everyone was on-board.[/quote]

This is my pool too. I love it.[/quote]

You know, our pool is like this to and as a parent of a young one who does pay attention, I have to say I resent it. Let me be clear, I don't mind a little bit of policing and I do it. I was a lifeguard for years so I don't think I'll ever completely relax at a pool and that's fine. But many people at my pool (PGPool / cool-pool) have this really laid back "it takes a village" attitude, and it feels like I'm doing more policing than others.

I'm sure most of the problems are the same everywhere - commenters from other pools have the same issues, older kids trying to sneak into the 0-6 pool (and I'm not talking about siblings, but as others have noted, older kids coming during adult swim), no enforcement of the rules, etc. And by enforcement of the rules, it clearly says no roughhousing. Does that mean I care if two 5 year olds splash one another? No. But kids are just barreling all around the pool and pushing and shoving one another down, wrestling with no body awareness or any awareness of others around them, hitting one another with kickboards, throwing the plastic crap around, etc. My little dude has gotten knocked down HARD, more than once, even though I'm always with him and trying to keep him steady and away from the other kids.

So yes, I intervene. I don't "discipline' but if it it an older kid I'll tell them to cut it out, and I'll also ask "where's your parent?" If there are no parents with them, I'll kick them out. There are tons of other people at our pool who do the same thing. But I have to wonder if the "it takes a village" or "community parenting" crowd realize how often their kids are actually causing problems for others' children, and that not everyone wants to community parent? I take full responsibility for my own child at the pool. When he's a 6 or 7 year old and is in the baby pool knocking little kids around, you can bet I'll be on it and not waiting for someone else to "community parent" him. Anyway, posters, please don't be so sure that everyone is as enthused about the group parenting thing - i guarantee they are not. [/quote]

Are you new to PGPool? That is the culture there and it is very unlikely to change. We all have a job there and that is what makes it a co-op (shared accountability). It sounds like you spend your time policing the baby pool. I do a lot with plastic city and the sand now, but I was baby pool for a few years, too. We all have our places on the grounds that we frequent, just like our usual spots that we sit in and times that we go there.
Consider posting a message on the listserve reminding people to keep the big kids out of the baby pool. I'm sure you know if you have been there for any number of years that it is usually this time of year that someone does that.  Plus, you know to stay out of the baby pool during adult swim, right? That is the only time the bigger kids (6-7 yr olds) go in there.[/quote]

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