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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is 85 and has very cheerful dementia.

I thank heaven and earth that she does not have angry dementia, and she still basically knows who I am though she thinks I am 14.

But I miss my mom, the person I could have a conversation with. You can’t have talk about anything with someone that has no memory. My mom physically is here but that woman is just a shadow of my mom.

And she is so physically healthy. I fear she will live forever. I don’t think I can do this for another 10 years.[/quote]

If I get dementia, I am going to end things in a moment of lucidity. At some point I want to talk to my kids about it - when we are all much older. But hearing these stories about caring for parents with dementia, spending insane amounts of money to be looked after and not knowing who I am or who my family are. If you're lucky, you are cheerful. If you're not, then you're angry and unhappy. Forget it. My maternal grandmother had relatively early onset Alzheimer's. I never knew her well because of it. But over the years I watched her go from semi-lucid to mentally not there at all. My mother would cry when she remembered how vibrant she was. I don't want that for anyone.[/quote]

+1
I actively talk with my DH and kids about this all the time, and my kids are young.  There is a fate worse than death and I don't want that.  My MIL is an example - she's alive physically but can't do anything for herself.  She wears diapers, can't make herself coffee, can't carry on a conversation,  etc.  She refuses to go to a home and doesn't "want to to be a burden".  It's a huge burden on everyone who cares about her- we want to honor her wishes, but they are not realistic.  Honestly, if I get there I'd rather be dead and my family knows that - I also have a DNR.[/quote]

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