Reply to What really is the role of a parent of 21-30

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "What really is the role of a parent of 21-30"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is hard not to give advice, because you have been where they are. And they are generally clueless /a babe in the woods

But I know I have to work to follow this advice. [/quote]

It's also good to remember, though, that you probably actually haven't been where they are. The world changes. They are different people. Different economy, different social expectations, etc.

A lot of what you learned from your own 20s experience simply won't be relevant or useful to them now. Maybe some of the broad strokes about responsibility, saving money, building a career or picking a partner. But VERY broad strokes.

[b]Trying to give your 20-something kid advice on stuff like interviewing, dressing, dating, socializing, based on your experience doing the same thing 20-30 years ago? You will mostly sound like a dinosaur.[/b]

I think a better tactic is to ask questions. Not a million questions but just relevant questions as they make choices and find their way. You ask to understand, and also in asking it might spur them to think about certain things. Like as they start their job search, own up to the fact that you don't know how it works now, and ask what the steps are these days. You'll learn something, and it will force them to think critically about that task as something with steps that can be explained.

Much better approach than to sit there and lecture them on stuff you haven't done in decades. You know a lot less than you think![/quote]

How old are you? My husband and I are 53 and 55. We have a 24 year old, 21 year old, and a 19 year old. We both hire, mentor, and manage employees. We are not dinosaurs that don't understand the hiring process. We are still years away from retirement.  We've definitely provided career related advice (or connected our kids with friends in other industries). My 76 year old mother just retired 2 years ago and was mentoring colleagues up until she left.

I also lived with my husband before we got married and had sex with multiple men before my husband. Nothing my kids do are going to make me clutch my pearls. That being said, I do stay out of my kids' dating lives. I honestly don't want to know unless it is a partner they want me to meet of course.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics