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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Parents of three, do you feel less bonded to your third?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.[/quote] Maybe for you, but this is a generalization that does not account for ages, temperaments, etc. This question also wrongly presumes that a parent cannot be strongly bonded to three children. OP is a troll. [/quote] It's rare for parents to be equally bonded to all children, especially once you are in the 3+ category. It's ideal, but not that common. Some kids handle it better than others.[/quote] DP. Is that based on your personal experience? Or studies or something? I’m thinking about families I know with 3+ kids (my siblings, my friends growing up, extended family, etc) and I think most parents did have strong bonds with all their kids. Of course I grew up UMC with emotionally healthy people. Ymmv. [/quote] Based on years of private practice as a therapist, largely to UMC families, middle child syndrome is absolutely a real phenomenon. There is a great deal of literature on this. Birth order isn't everything, but there are common dynamics in families with 3+ children, and the overlooked or invisible middle child is quite common. Often layered with other dynamics. I don't think this dynamic is automatic, and conscientious parents can take steps to counteract it. But people thinking if having more than 2 children, at any socioeconomic level, should be aware of these issues. [/quote] You sound like an idiot who read an Atlantic article on this topic seven years ago and can’t be bothered to even look it up to make sure you got your facts straight. There are pros and cons to every position in a family and BONDING has much more to do with ages, genders, emotional health of parents, spacing of children, marital health, etc. To say middle child syndrome is real and people should really think about it when having more than two kids is stupid and irresponsible. Plenty of people have two kids and aren’t bonded to one or both because of all of the things I listed. The OP can’t even be bothered to say why they asked this question and it’s because they are a lot stirring troll who clearly is sad somewhere they can’t or don’t have three kids. As a parent of three- it’s great. Sorry you missed out OP! [/quote] Why are you so mad? It makes no sense. If your family with 3 kids is happy, share that. You are one family, one data point. It is strange to be angry about this if you are, as you claim, so content.[/quote] Obviously PP is the parent who created this dynamic and tries to say she just got a rotten kid in the middle. This too is common.[/quote]
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