Reply to Anyone find being in their elderly parents’ home so painful?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not painful emotionally, like I feel bad for them.  And yes, I am thankful they are still around, blah blah blah.

Painful, like they are SO LOUD first thing in the morning.

Father talking loudly on his phone to who knows at 8AM.

Mother starting to warm things up for lunch starting 8AM.

Them wanting to be around me but only having surface-level conversations.

Been here less than 24 hours and I am ready to go to my home. [/quote]

Multiple reasons I can’t be an overnight guest in my parents house. And they’re not personal, they are physical issues [b](and a personal issue against adult sibling who will live there forever)[/quote][/b]

OP here and yes, this too.  Mid-40 year old sibling lost job during pandemic, moved into parents’ home and now acts like she owns the place and that she is in charge of our parents and my relationship with them - and parents act like nothing is off about this.  Just another reason for the surface-level conversations.  [/quote]

OP, I just posted about having parents who are sick and disabled.

Get a hotel room. And then use this time during visits to record them talking about their childhoods and lives. I so wish we had done this before my parents lost their ability to converse. Make a list of questions to ask the to help the interviewing along, but let them veer away from those questions. I know they are annoying you now but you will be glad you have those.

It will fill the time and hopefully they will shut the tv off..

Also, try to find stuff to do in their community outdoors to get out of the house and away from the sister. Can they walk? Get them out for walks. Take the out for an outdoor ice cream. Etc.

Fyi, I was living with my parents for a while. Is she helping care for them? Is she saying they need help and you are disagreeing? My siblings were utterly clueless as to how much I was doing around the house for my parents and derided my presence there. Try to look at this objectively and consider that your sibling may be doing elder care.

Also, you could invite them to your place potentially and then it’s your turf and sibling is not there. [/quote]

All good advice.  Thanks!  And I feel better after the coffee.  The lack of sleep because of hot bedroom, tiny soft mattress don’t help.

Is she helping care for them?  No, she is addicted to Xanax and adderall and barely functioning like an adult. 
Is she saying they need help and you are disagreeing?  She does claim to be helping them. I don’t disagree or even engage because it’s not possible to have a rational conversation with an addict.  My parents are saying she is not helping them and her living in their house being the way she it is stressful for them. 
[/quote]

Jfc  :roll: now the mattress is too soft? You’re just a whiny person in general, aren’t you[/quote]

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