Reply to Is virginity a red flag at 40?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I dated a guy who was a virgin at 25 - and we weren't even 25 when we dated, we were 30 and 31 - and in hindsight it was a huge red flag. I broke up with him because he had issues developing emotional intimacy, and in later conversations with my therapist after the breakup when I mentioned the virginity thing, she was like "That's pretty weird for a guy who isn't religious. Do you think there's something more there?" So, I would see it as a red flag that he's emotionally unavailable. But I have baggage so your mileage may vary.[/quote]

25 is not 40.  I was a late bloomer dating wise (short shy dude). I had occasional girlfriends but I wanted to wait for sex because I didn’t want to risk getting her pregnant — I was from a backwater town so tons of teen moms in high school, and I was desperate to leave. A pregnant girlfriend would have been an anchor.

In college and law school I had religious girlfriends who wanted to wait for marriage (the 2nd became my DW).  We started dating at 25 and didn’t marry till 30 because of school and extended family complications.  She was worth the wait.

We are happily married 20 years later with a handful of kids. I mean our intimate life is not killin it, but with lots of kids that was kinda in the cards.

40 is very late, but maybe he tended to date within a religion?  I wonder why not married more than no sex - it was definitely a motivator to put a ring on it. [/quote]

Not very motivating since it took you FIVE YEARS.

Huge red flag, OP, if you have a health sex drive.  He won’t.[/quote]

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