Reply to Ex doesn't know that my kids are in private

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are the arsehole.

I hope he finds out you have these means and challenges whatever child support you are getting.

This is beyond ridiculous. You shouldn’t make these kinds of decisions unilaterally. Especially the religious indoctrination—

Hopefully he goes back to court to challenge the custody arrangement. I would. [/quote]

Not his money. None of his business. He still has to pay the court ordered support.[/quote]

Legally, yes.

Practically, as someone already noted, the best way to deal with punitive, harmful people is to lie to them (or omit certain truths). I consider this a direct consequence of their own actions, and therefore not as a ethically wrong as if lying to a good person. Essentially, it's self-defense. You are preserving your sanity and that of your children, and in some cases (maybe not here), preserving your physical wellbeing.

I do agree that sometimes lying like this is complicated and gives you twinges of regret. But... I'm not blaming you, OP.

And I think you shouldn't worry about when to tell him. When it feels right, it will come out, and you will deal with the consequences.

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