Reply to BIL/kids visiting for Thanksgiving; grandparents don’t want to bow out to a hotel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ooh, this is tough. You are doing all the right things but DCUM is going to come for you telling you to respect your elders or some nonsense. I would want to host in my house as per plan. [b]It really blows my mind when parents can't let their (adult) kids do things without them.[/b]

Could you see if cousin/fiancee would be willing to stay in the hotel? If they are young, they might like a few free nights in a hotel (assuming you're willing to pay for the hotel regardless of who stays there).[/quote]

This is one of my main take aways from watching my inlaws work.  They never "allow" my Dh and his sister to just spend time the 2 of them, and it's hindered their relationship in some major ways.  If my DH and his sister makes plans, his parents MUST be invited 100% of the time.  If they aren't invited and they hear about it, they'll just show up or assume they can come.  It's annoying because it changes the dynamic.  And of course they will be the first to complain if we aren't doing something they want to do or eating the food they way they want to etc.  [/quote]

On the flip side, I have a sister who won't let me and my family spend time with our parents without her and her kid.  My parents and sister live in the same city (5 minute drive from each other) and see each other all the time; my family is a plane ride away.  I love my sister and my nephew and of course want to spend time with them when we visit, but it would also be nice to have some one-on-one time with my parents (and for my DD to have her grandparents to herself sometimes) but it literally never happens.  [/quote]

My SIL is the same way. She is single (late 30s) and I think she is just super lonely. Obviously not the case for your sister, but it definitely is happening over here as well![/quote]

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