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[quote=Anonymous]In my experience, people don't defer marriage during the PhD years. Many have kids during those years and it works out fine. Doing a PhD is like having a very flexible mostly remote job where you set your own deadlines, but get paid poorly. As long as one spouse is bringing in hhi, that can be a great setup. You're right to wonder and worry because waiting until after grad school isn't a thing, and sounds like an excuse to avoid commitment. I suspect the people criticizing you on this thread don't know much about the academic lifestyle. If the problem really is that the boy's parents are old fashioned about gender roles, that's it's own red flag. You should definitely let your dd know of your concerns.[/quote]
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