Reply to Dealing with the sadness/anger

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[quote=Anonymous]"I try not to let myself get so overwhelmed by the work of care management I forget to actually spend time with my parents just talking to them and hanging out with them. My time with them is limited and It can’t all just be about logistics."

This really resonated with me, OP. After years of caring for an elderly parent, it occurred to me that I was spending so much time on managing their care that it was affecting my personal relationship with them. It's hard to be both a care manager and a daughter. And, unlike children, our elderly relatives don't get more independent as they age and more fun to hang out with.

There's no easy answer to this dilemma. But the realization did spur me to try to spend more quality time with my parent and to outsource some of the tasks that took up my time. Moving my parent to a community that offered independent and assisted living was a good start. I was still very involved in their care, but I could visit (which I did daily) and just spend time socializing, sharing meals, etc. without having to be "on duty" 24/7.[/quote]

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