Reply to Husband considers two plates left in the kitchen "lack of respect" toward him

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Reply to "Husband considers two plates left in the kitchen "lack of respect" toward him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m going to get play devils advocate as someone who has been on the receiving end of  this type of thing for years- I started feeling like my spouse thought their time was more valuable than mine.  My now XH knew that if he put a dirty dish on the counter or in the sink that it would magically get cleaned.  This type of thing carried over into many aspects of our relationship and it got to the point where I became resentful (because really, how long does it take to complete the task of putting a dish into the dishwasher), I started losing respect for him and I started realizing that he was not a value added partner.  OP does this type of thing (you leaving things undone that he has to do) happen often?  Because this sounds like it’s WAY more than just leaving two dishes on the sink.  And honestly I don’t agree with how he went about communicating his opinion on the matter but at least he’s verbalizing it.  I was never able to communicate my issues and it was a huge factor in the divorce (the culmination of years of little things that were disrespectful).  [/quote]

Exactly. It wasn't perfect but at the same time he wasn't shouting or hitting. He was communicating. She likely does this a lot because it seems he has to deal with mess often. He married someone who doesn't value neatness as much as him. That's something they both have to come to terms with. She doesn't have to change, but at the same time it needs to be understood by him and her that they both have things they don't like that they need to learn to accept. They are married with a child. This isn't some date she went on.[/quote]

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