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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your sister is helping them in the home they own, why would moving her out and hiring help be better for them? I think you're not appreciating the working solution they have now. You should help them make the situation they are comfortable with more sustainable, rather than trying to change everything around to suit your preferences. You don't need to feel guilt over it, or make excuses.[/quote]

A) Because my parents have no money left except for social security so they can’t pay their taxes, etc.
B) Because my sister still has to work to supplement the ridiculous living situation which leaves them alone much of the time.

You clearly don’t know what long-term care cost. How about you give me the money for them to have more caregiving? Or you can pay the 15K/month for assisted living for both? Or better yet, you can go live with them to help my sister.[/quote]So their situation is working for them, albeit money is tight. However you want your parents to have more caregiving than your sister can provide due to her needing to work. Your proposed solution is that they sell a $750k home, move into a rental, and hire someone to care for them.

I'm still not understanding why that puts them in a better financial situation, or how that gets them better care than your sister is providing. And your sister is supporting them financially too? [/quote]

I didn’t say money is tight. I said they can’t afford their home on their social security checks. Why are you changing my words? Do you want to pay their taxes, home insurance and HOA fees? Their checks don’t even cover their basic needs for God sakes.

Why is it better? Because they will then have (wait for it) about 680K in the bank. Then they won’t be broke, my sister can continue to live with them and help, and if she needs help as they decline, they can afford to hire it. BTW, I got this plan from a certified financial planner who will manage their money. Unless you think you are qualified to do better? [/quote]Only a bogus financial planner would advise you to sell an appreciating asset to supplement income. What's the commission that certified financial planner would take to facilitate the asset transfers? It sounds like you're being scammed.[/quote]

An appreciating asset that is often protected in Medicaid eligibility calculations, no less!

OP, I am sorry about the injury but the whole story about the husband and the awning sounds like something my mom, a compulsive people-pleaser, would do. She’d also be mad about it and then also lash out at the wrong people and focus on the wrong takeaways (“wrong” in terms of: does this focus improve the odds of having a better experience the next time?)

You are responsible for not having said no. Saying no is not a crime or an outrage. Just do it; you don’t need anyone’s permission.[/quote]

It’s actually not as protected as you think. If my father goes into a Medicaid nursing home, Medicaid starts a lien against the house. Did you know that Medicaid can force the sale of a home and take everything but 150K, that’s all they leave for the surviving spouse? Oh, and my father’s social security check goes with him - so they take that as well for his care. How can my mother afford an asset she already can’t afford on one social security check?

Yep, I did the wrong thing fixing the awning.  I should have taken it down and told him to go screw, that if he wanted to leave it up, he can come and fix it himself. My bad.  The good news is my brother will take it down in Sept on his visit, and store it in its bin in the garage after taking key measurements for me. I can then make a new top on an industrial machine.  I tend to like a compromise but everything can’t be a discussion when dealing with irrationality.[/quote]

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