Reply to Husband says I’m bossing him around. Help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband doesn’t do simple things around the house and for himself and then claims I’m bossing him around? For example, I’ll cook dinner and serve it. He gets up from the table and goes to play video games. I ask him “hey do you mind putting your plate in the sink?” And he gets huffy with me. Another time is when I’m in bed already, he’s in the living room watching tv and gets up to come to bed. When he comes in the room, he’s getting under the covers and I said “honey, are you going to turn the tv off?” He gets huffy again and says “I’m sick of you bossing me around”.

Same response when I told him he had food on his face and to wipe his left cheek.

Generally I have a pleasant demeanor and am not accusatory or anything. What do you do to not come across bossy?[/quote]

What we intend and how we are perceived are often different things. Your tone and demeanor may not be as “pleasant” as you believe. Also, even though he should clean up after himself or turn off the TV, you are infantilizing him when you direct him to do these things — and they do come across as directives, hence the bossing around complaint. The problem is the more you do it, the more he is likely to dig in.

It also sets up a dynamic where you behave like you are in charge of the household and he is subservient to you. When it’s widely understood that the man is in charge of the house. Next time maybe just clear his place and turn off the TV for him?[/quote]

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