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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the OP. I deal with my sadness by crying in the shower, occasionally walking outside and lying in the grass and crying, crying in bed at night, and allowing myself moments where I let the grief and sadness just completely take me over.

Then I wash my face and order the new hospital bed, or do whatever shit needs to be done.

I try not to let myself get so overwhelmed by the work of care management I forget to actually spend time with my parents just talking to them and hanging out with them. My time with them is limited and It can’t all just be about logistics. We’ve had some nice conversations that we would not otherwise have had if I was not up here captaining the ship through the storm.

I actually have had a pretty conflicted relationship with my parents for my whole life and went to therapy in part to deal with it. As sad as this whole situation is, it is bringing me closer to my parents and I see that as a positive. I do not understand their powers of denial and I would not have chosen to live my life the way they did. But most of the time I can put my anger aside and see them as complex people with many strengths and good qualities who just couldn’t deal with thinking about their own mortality and the loss of their independence—thus, the current shitshow.

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PP. I do the same. I wish I had a better way to deal with this. RIght now I am blaming myself that I told my mom "no" a few times this summer when she wanted to take me and DCs for ice cream or lunch. We were just tired, or had eaten out too much, but I feel like it was important to my mom and now, a month later, she can't do it anymore.[/quote]

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