Reply to Post affair, husband tired of me bringing it up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP and her DH need designated times and places for discussing this stuff. Wall it off a bit, so it can't come up randomly during dinner or as you're getting ready for bed. Keep a journal and write down your questions, then during designated times, go through it and see if there is anything to discuss or anything he could tell you that would help you process.

I think the argument that OP is punishing her DH or has him in a "penalty period" are missing the point and reflect an avoidant attitude. He cheated. It is what it is. OP clearly needs more time to process and deal with it, and if they want to save the marriage, I think it would be best if he participated in that process because if he expects her to process it on her own or in her own therapy sessions, I think you have real danger of OP winding up in such a different space that the marriage can't be saved.

But if you could just schedule a check in where the DH commits to being open and willing to listen, and OP agrees to not bring it up in between these sessions (maybe once a month or something), then you give OP what she needs without having the topic permeate their entire lives. I think at some point OP will decide she doesn't need these check ins anymore.

I would also make a point of scheduling fun, bonding activities so there is balance. Like each month, you go on 4-5 dates plus you work out together every Saturday, and then once a month you have a bit of time set aside to talk through any feelings or questions OP has around this issue. If you want to rebuilt, I think this gives you the balance you need without making OP feel like she just has to stuff her feelings down, which will not work out in the end. They will just wind up resurfacing at the worst possible time.[/quote]

This is all cute. Op needs to divorce her husband. [/quote]

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