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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thanks this has been helpful in framing my thinking. To answer a few questions asked: all of our family are near my parents, so no negative impact to the kids in that regard if we move; I don’t think I’ve consumed too much media so much as spent enough time in a red state to really feel the pain of these issues on a day to day basis; B my parents did drop everything and care for my grandparents and my aunt when they were dying though everyone lived in 15 minute radius; and I’m not necessarily ok with forcing my mom to stay on a farm she doesn’t want to stay on. But my mom has been planning to move for my whole life, and by her own admission, long before that. It’s a…sore subject? Long running joke? The biggest regret of her life that I am not interested in solving for her?

I suppose the ideal plan would be to move back for a while, then leave again if my father passed and my mom was in good health. There’s a lot of ifs there though.

Like many farming families, there has long been a plan to ensure the farm is not sold on someone’s death, and I do intend to return to it at some point.

These comments did cause me to ask myself how I would react if my children asked me to move somewhere to make caring for me easier in my old age. And I would undoubtedly object, preferring to live out my end of life on the farm and expecting them to be there to make that happen.

And so I suppose that’s the ultimate answer -if I expect someone to do it for me, I better do it for someone else.

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Are you an only child or do you have siblings in the area?  Do you expect your own kids to give up their lives and move across the country when you get old? Do you want to take over the farm? Who are your parents leaving it to?

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You missed the updates.  Yes, OP does expect her children to move across the country to support her dream of dying with independence.[/quote]

Like the person above mentioned, if the OP's two sons marry women who feel the need to move back to help their parents in Alaska and Hawaii, how can she expect her sons to move to Arkansas.  Should they divorce when she needs attention?

Does she want to move back to the farm because she's scared her father is going to leave the whole thing to another sibling? One way to break up a family property is to split it evenly among your kids who then split it evenly between their kids. That is why Charles III inherited everything from Elizabeth II - it keeps the wealth intact.[/quote]

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