Reply to Junior with autism and adhd anxiety and depression shutting down after coming out

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Reply to "Junior with autism and adhd anxiety and depression shutting down after coming out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also think he doesn't want to bring it up with the therapist, so it doesn't get discussed and worked out. I was hoping after several months this would be discussed but he doesn't want to and she won't push it plus I don't think she is qualified in this area.[/quote]

OP, I think it’s really important you not push your DC to talk to his current therapist unless he feels safe doing so. Your DC might sense that his therapist would not be receptive or helpful.

I have a DC who came out. DC’s psychiatrist at the time (who was billing for medication management and therapy, and had been DC’s care provider for 5 years), was not receptive.  Instead of being welcoming the pdoc professed  a welcoming stance but pathologized DC’s queerness as a reaction to problematic relationships with members of the opposite sex in DC’s life.  Not only that but he became punitive to DC by putting inappropriate conditions on treatment.

It was really heartbreaking for DC.  On the positive side, DC had already come out to me, so I was able to affirm DC’s identity and also affirm DC’s sense that DC’s treatment provider had become abusive.  I really had to have an explicit discussion with DC in which I had to say that DC had the right to be their full self with a healthcare provider and that I would help find such providers.

It did a number on DC’s self-esteem and damaged their emerging sexuality.

OP, if your DC is out to you, affirm that every chance you can.  Find a pediatrician or adolescent medicine provider who is LGBTQ friendly and tell offer a chance to have an introductory visit after which your teen can decide to switch.     Similarly find a psychiatrist and therapist and offer intro visits to switch.

I had to have an explicit discussion with both my kids in adolescence (one gay, one straight) telling them that their relationship with their doctor was private from me unless they were at risk of self-harm and that they should be able to talk with their provider about their sexuality, ask about birth control relationships and get tested for STIs.

Also - I like PP’s suggestion of spending more time in gay-friendly neighborhoods, but it doesn’t have to be NYC. There are plenty of gay friendly neighborhoods in DC.  [/quote]

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