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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My practical advice is to start small. If she’s not use to help, get her a weekly cleaning service. That may turn into more frequent helpers-with shopping, cooking, help around the house. But since healthy people have cleaners too, it can be a start.

Then, when you can visit, start touring assisted living options, just to see them. Also start working on organizing important documents or cleaning one room of the house. Each trip have one specific goal. Anything you can do to prepare will help later. [/quote]

Ugh. That’s the thing. Even the two items you mention involve trips across the country. This poor woman is going to spend $1000 to get on 1-2 flights to clean a room for a weekend and probably get scolded. And then repeat it how many times and how often? Every month for a year?

The last thing I want to do after working all week is to go straight to the airport, fly across the country, get in a rental car
at midnight and clean/get yelled at for a weekend and then go straight back to work on Monday.[/quote]

This.

OP I’ve been dealing with this same issue now since my father had a stroke six years ago. Even though they are out of cash and are sitting on a gold mine of a very sellable home that’s paid off, they STILL will not make a change. Even though both can barely walk, neither can drive, are partially incontinent, and confuse their pills all the time. What they want is for me to go live 3000 miles away from my family to do their bidding. Nope.[/quote]

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