Reply to Bias towards elderly who will not go quietly

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My husband is a doctor, other relatives are doctors, and you are entirely wrong, OP. Doctors take the Hippocratic Oath. Saving lives is more than a job. It's a calling. If the patient does not have a terminal diagnosis, then it's the standard of care to do everything possible to save their lives and not discuss palliative care until it's needed.

You are shockingly ageist: just because someone is old and frail, with the normal ills of age, does not mean they're ready to be put out to sea on an ice floe. When patients are in terrible pain and death is certain... that's when they ask for a painless exit, and deserve one, at any age. Pain and hopelessness are the criteria, not age.

I hope you're a troll, actually.
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I appreciate that your husband and relatives may not have this view but I fully understand the OP’s experience because I am living it also. And, fwiw, I used to work in healthcare (at a local hospital) and I have relatives who are doctors and nurses.

My parent is in his 90s and their specialist was shockingly indifferent to their care. The testing showed a treatable condition at 90 but my parent was never told that nor offered treatment. We found out years later, when it was too late to do anything.

Recently, when my parent was hospitalized, the doctor said the tests weren’t clear as to diagnosis. I asked if there are other tests - and his response was, “What test would you like me to do?” When I asked if there was medicine to help, he asked, “What medicine would you like me to prescribe?” I called the primary doctor and they gave me something to try.

In contrast, my other parent is also in their 90s and has been given treatment and options. They are divorced and in different states.

I think it is very doctor dependent but I do think some doctors write off patients because of age. 
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I’d be curious to know whether one of your parents is male and one female. Male patients tend to get better treatment than female patients in general, so I wonder how much that aspect may affect the difference in how each parents is treated. 
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In the situations I was describing, my mother had better treatment than my father. But when it comes to physical therapy, we have had no problem getting my dad physical therapy and were unable to get pt for my mom post-rehab after she broke her hip (although the doctors referred her) because the center said there were young people who need it more. 
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