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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - I actually think that the three of you might start with Family Therapy first so that an experienced therapist can help you hear your daughter's view/needs and she can hear you and DH's views.  Then working together develop a guided plan for the three of you as you all are in a "safe holding pattern," which could go on for years or end with an unexpected event tomorrow.   Having a neutral party define the next step(s) and having the next session set to account will be a starting point.

- A full physical for your daughter might be in order to rule out any kind of a contributing physical such as thyroid, vitamin deficiency etc.

- An in-person mental health screening with one of you driving her, but not going to the appointment will be key, and a referral from the family therapist might be a way to go after a couple of sessions, since I imagine your daughter will benefit from seeing how it actually can work.  (In setting up a family session, I would define this as a key goal, and I would say with a female psychiatrist.)

- Setting up a weekly routine with your DD on activities which would broaden her horizon from home, but perhaps with no set goal in the beginning may be important to get her out of the house to do one thing each day.  This could be a goal set with therapist.

a- Using community resources such as the public library
b- Joining a fitness center with a young adult as well as older age range and group classes
c- Getting her to do some of the house errands such as  the week's food shopping off of a list planned together -- while you or DH run other errands (real or made up), 
d- Choosing a volunteer interest with a commitment of say 3/4 hours weekly

- It goes without saying that at times she is planning meals, cooking for the three of you, doing regular household tasks for herself.  If not, this has to be amped up.
- I do not remember if you and DH take trips, but I would plan at least a three day .

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