Reply to DH’s therapist refused to talk to our marriage therapist

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a betrayed wife- I needed the truth.  I needed to know what is being said in confidence isn’t totally different than what is being said to me individually or in therapy together.

Betrayed spouses have already suffered a grave loss of trust.  They have been back-stabbed and blind-sided.  I couldn’t trust after discovery anything out if his mouth.  I’m supposed to take a liar’s word? In our case, there was also a mental health diagnosis and I needed facts and what that meant for potential relapse, recovery, etc.

His individual therapist actually requested to meet with me individually for essentially the same reason.  From the DSm test- we were dealing with someone high on the narcissism spectrum, with a lot of childhood trauma.

I NEEDEd that information.

Frankly I’m pissed off therapists don’t have a duty to inform people when they know their health is at risk: from infidelity/cheating.  Instead they will listen for months on end to a  woman or man exhibiting risky behavior that is a threat to their spouse’s physical health- not to mention safety.[/quote]
You made the choice to work things out with soneone who betrayed you. Your feelings and relationship meant nothing to him. That's all you need to know. Your choice, but in your position, I'd work in therapy to figure out why I wanted to stay with someone who betrayed me, violated my trust and traumatized me. [/quote]

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