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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP. I have a hard time understanding why this is such a terrible thing. It feels like people are objecting because of who did it, not the actual substance. [/quote]

I am not a huge fan of alimony.  I wish we had more equity in earnings and that women were more able to look after themselves financially after a divorce.  But despite those concerns, I think giving a spouse (usually a woman) some time to become self supporting and then cutting the cord is probably appropriate.

However if you were married at a time when women just didn’t have a lot of training and worked hard in the home to build their husband’s career, it makes sense to provide the non working spouse for the rest of her life.  She cannot get retrained.  Societal expectations of her were different.  Those are the folk for whom permanent alimony is ordered.  It is very rare to see it ordered for a 30-something couple.  Why would you screw over older women like that?

Put another way, it’s ok to expect your wife to work if you divorced her.  It’s probably even ok to ask her mom to work if your dad divorced her although hopefully they’d be close to retirement.  It’s crazy to ask your grandma to go to work if she is living off your grandfather’s pension. [/quote]

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