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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t get along with my Sil and bil but like their kids so I would do it. Plus your kid might resent not knowing his cousins. Have sh handle most of the care so you can study[/quote]

OP here: how much of this relationship building is my responsibility? SIL did not respond to my texts in the past.

The way I see it, it's my husband's responsibility to build his relationship with his sister and playdates. My DH is a little resentful too. We received zero help from any of them in the early days.

A previous PP called it payback. I guess my frustration is that SIL can't really expect free childcare to be extended from us when she provided zero response or interest when my husband was out of town and I had to go to the ER with mastitis and needed someone to watch my 1 y/o at the time. She can figure it out like we had to.

The relationship between cousins is different and not contingent on one sleepover. SIL hasn't really expressed any interest in developing any kind of a sisterly relationship with me, and I can see why. She has a strong relationship with her family, siblings, and friends. I have a much stronger relationship with my own sister (who albeit, lives 8 hours away), but I do make an effort to see my sister at least one a month and have stayed at her house overnight to help with her kids. I'm happy to start developing better relationships between our kids, but I don't want to just become free childcare to them.[/quote]

OP. Seriously. You are entitled to feel your feelings. But be honest: you just don't like this chick. You probably don't actually want her watching your kids either. [/quote]

You are right. I don't. I don't want her watching my son. I tolerate them at birthdays and holidays. I don't want to be the one to work on the relationship and want my husband to take initiative in this area and take over the social aspects between his family.

But, I do understand the importance of the cousins developing a relationship. I am willing to try - but not an overnight sleepover. I still see that as my husbands responsibility to manage relationships with his own family. I tried in the early days but she did not reciprocate the interest and I gave up.[/quote]

Well, consider that if you sincerely would like to foster a relationship between the cousins - not exclusively you but assume you are participating in parenting your own child and supervising other children in your house - this is an opportunity to do that. You can have a really amazing sleepover for the cousins. You can get them the COUSIN CREW shirts my MIL loves so much. So what if your SIL didn't respond to your messages in the past? Why does that mean this sleepover is a bad idea?

You don't have to do anything other than host a couple of kids. If you were a person who had never seen the kids before or a person who didn't have kids, I could understand a 4yo who needs help in the bathroom sometimes being intimidating, but you also have a 4yo. This is not a dealbreaker unless you want it to be. If you want your husband to be in charge of communicating with his sister, fine. Sounds like hanging out with the kids will be more fun for you anyway.[/quote]

OP here. Those are sweet suggestions actually. I'm not there yet where I would feel comfortable watching her kids for 24 hours. [/quote]

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