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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The mom has a medical marijuana card and I think both parents are alcoholics. The kid is in my son’s friend group and often supplies the kids with drugs and alcohol; that his parents give him freely. Yes that’s a whole other issue I am trying to address.

But I am posting because [b]the kid is also depressed and possibly suicidal. I know this because I just kicked him out of my house for smelling like weed. and he is sitting on the front porch crying. [/b] I gave him a few resources including the Everymind text number here in MoCo.   Mobile Crisis Team number and 988.  But what else can I do?

The drugs have to stop because they aren’t helping. But I feel the kid is doomed if his parents are enabling him.  I just feel helpless. Way in over my head. [/quote]

Wow, OP, you are a HORRIBLE PERSON.

A child who you know, who is friends with your child, is struggling such that you believe he is suicidal and your response is to kick him out and give him a hotline to text?

How about NOT kicking him out and talking to him? How about not making the problem worse? You are not helpless. You are an adult. He is a child who is not being parented by his parents and is being coldly sent to cry on the porch by a potentially supportive adult.

I think you should look in the mirror and think about who you really want to be in this situation. [/quote]

Step back a bit. You judge instead of asking clarifying questions.  Although I realize that's how DCUM usually goes.

I didn't post everything because I don't want it to be completely recognizable.  I have a zero tolerance rule about drugs and alcohol in my house.  We have addiction issues in our family and my spouse is a recovering alcoholic.  I also have teens to protect from those addiction risks.   The entire revelation about this kid's situation started with my kicking him out, but it occurred over hours.   I didn't immediately know the whole story when I saw him crying.   That's when I started asking more questions.   But I purposefully left out a detailed timeline and my methods of communication with him.

Having said that, I know many will want to cross examine my post, looking for flaws, and tear me apart instead of trying to help me help this kid.  So this is my only clarifying post.  I have been in contact with the crisis center.  I didn't really want to go the CPS route and the center actually suggested something different.  So that's what I'm doing.

[/quote]

In your OP, you said you didn't know what to do and that you felt helpless. It sounds like you have already done what you were willing to do and are setting the boundaries you think are important for your family. That is fine and your right to do. But those boundaries, for this child in this situation, were hurtful and cold. You don't need help figuring out what to do - you need to get right with setting limits on what you are willing to do. You are also not helpless - you are choosing to intervene in the ways that are comfortable to you, but not in all the ways possible. That's fine. Get right with your choices.

Also, leaving out information that meaningfully changes your situation ("I didn't just throw him out immediately and close the door") and then blaming a concern about privacy is a copout. You gave away nothing in your OP, and adding in detail about how you were nicer to the child in crisis than your OP indicated doesn't compromise your privacy at all. Own your decisions.[/quote]

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